i SAW nothing

one thing i love about being in countries that celebrate both the Gregorian and Lunar New Years is that January feels like a reprieve, a languor, a freer purgatory of sorts—in between the years and cultures, in between time.

from speaking to friends, it seems like this January is not so. perhaps it’s #SORE or just something in the air, but i hope we can take some time to acknowledge that even in the before-times of the vexxing, most of us were already crazy and needed therapy but couldn’t afford it. i think there is a lot of unacknowledged trauma going around, exacerbated by the pandemic, for myself included.

this weekend, i hope you/me/we can take some time out to breathe. if it helps: as i walk i say the names of things i see (a trick my friend taught me to slow down my brain), and when i lie down for glorious naps (or the idea of them) i repeat to myself: life is a miracle. time is precious. be gracious, be kind, be grateful to yourself and other life forms.

obligatory years-end film list (1 year late)

fortifying new/recent feature films seen since pandemic, amidst ongoing personal disillusionment with the filmic & other arts:

37 seconds – hikari a beautiful day in the neighbourhood – marielle heller a hidden life – terrence malick

a man and a camera – guido hendrikx a rifle and a bag – isabella rinaldi, cristina hanes & arya rothe all about my sisters – wang qiong all-in – volkan üce an unusual summer – kamal aljafari anatomy of time – jakrawal nilthamrong aswang – alyx ayn arumpac atlantics – mati diop bloody nose, empty pockets – turner ross & bill ross iv bottled songs 1–4 – kevin b. lee & chloé galibert-laîné brother’s keeper – ferit karahan collective – alexander nanau faces across the other side – zhang ximing faya dayi – jessica bashir fire will come – oliver laxe first cow – kelly reichardt fourteen – dan sallitt from victoria street to ang mo kio – eva tang great freedom – sebastian meise her socialist smile – john gianvito history of ha – lav diaz homeless – lim seung-hyeun inside the red brick wall – hong kong documentary filmmakers just don’t think i’ll scream – frank beauvais la civil – teodara ana mihai landscapes of resistance – marta popivoda looking for venera – norika sefa lovers rock – steve mcqueen mariam – sharipa urazbayeva moffie – oliver hermanus moving on – yoon dan-bi nan – peng zu-qiang nasir – arun karthick night of the kings – philippe lacôte nothing but the sun – aramí ullón overseas – sung-a yoon petit samedi – paloma sermon-daï portrait of a lady on fire – céline sciamma quo vadis, aida? – jasmila žbanić rain in 2020 – lee yong chao rewind – sasha joseph neulinger scarecrow – dmitry davydov school town king – wattanapume laisuwanchai self-portrait 2020 – lee dong-woo sexual drive – kōta yoshida silent voice – reka valerik soil without land – nontawat numbenchapol staying vertical – alain guiraudie suk suk – ray yeung sundown – michel franco that cloud never left – yashaswini raghunandan the cloud in her room – zheng lu xinyuan the broken ridge – jiang jin the father – florian zeller the girl and the spider – ramon zürcher & silvan zürcher the mole agent – maite alberdi the once and future – yeo siew hua the painter and the thief – benjamin ree the truth – hirokazu koreeda the velvet underground – todd haynes the witches of the orient – julien faraut the year of the discovery – luis lópez carrasco the year of the everlasting storm – apichatpong weerasethakul, jafar panahi, laura poitras, david lowery, dominga sotomayor, anthony chen & malik vitthal thomas the high jumper – leri matehha time – garrett bradley to the ends of the earth – kiyoshi kurosawa undine – christian petzold varda by agnès – agnès varda vengeance is mine, all others pay cash – edwin we are from there – wissam tanios welcome to chechnya – david france what do we see when we look at the sky? – alexandre oberidze wheel of fortune and fantasy – ryusuke hamaguchi whether the weather is fine – carlo francisco manatad wisdom tooth – liang ming you and i – fanny chotimah

(sorry if i left your film out or haven’t seen it yet, this arbitrary list does not matter at all)

STILL: Kiarostami via Cinematic

Omicron dreams of electric sheep

just wanna share, on NYE, that this rather pervasive attitude that we’re all going to catch Covid, sooner or later, so you might as well catch it now, is really destructive. even if coronaviruses did not transmit to 80% of the population, even if there was a 1% chance you could avoid catching it, you want to grab that slim chance and not let go. knowing multiple folks who have long Covid (still incurable and hence more accurately termed “lifelong Covid”), hearing of rare accounts of people who have contracted Covid thrice, for example, believe me when i state that it is not something you want to catch, really. even if you’ll be fine (like the seven friends who contracted it in the last two months), which in most cases you will be, during your infectious phase, before you test positive, if you are self-testing regularly, you have a high chance of passing it to an elderly, ill, or cancer survivor person on the street, even if you are wearing a mask, even if you’re vaccinated and boosted. please, while living again, let’s be kind, be safer (like sex), be responsible. i would rather not attend more wakes and funerals, please. here’s to a happier 2022.